Choose The Son.

The question often arises, How do you Love? Why Do You Love? And! Who Do You Love? Yet, when we look at Love it is not something simple. Love is an action. We often say we love, but what are we doing to show love? One true reason I love my husband is because he shows me daily. The love that he has for me goes deeper than the love he shows for me. For years I have observed not only how he loves me but how he loves the people and things around him. This is something to pay attention to when making a decision for marriage: "how does he or she show love to other people and things around them?" These are a few things I have paid attention to and I am glad I did. 

His mom: The first woman in his life. Obviously. The lessons he learned from his father on how to treat women, starting first with his mother. The care he has for her, making sure she has what she needs including buying a shopping cart to make it easier for her to bring her groceries back and forth, he’s a problem solver. He also indulges her venting and I can tell when his creole softens, that he’s letting her know “Everything will be OK”, he’s sympathetic. He sits next to her during family events, because he knows she secretly desires for her only son and baby boy to be close, he’s considerate. 

His sisters: being the sixth child and only boy, he sometimes acts like the oldest, offering his thoughts on family issues and concerns as if they are rule, he has his own opinion. His five older sisters have their opinions too and he’s often overruled, he’s bruised yet ego is still in tact. My assumption is that you’d have to be a strong man to have five older sisters. His sister's plan events , tells him the date and where to show up and he asks minimal questions. He’s a team player. 

His sneakers: Yes, his sneakers. He has a lot of them, two closets worth. He knows where all of them are and has a story for each. He's attentive. He often takes them out of the box, stares at them like a proud papa and looks for anything he may need to clean or adjust. He’s passionate and meticulous. 

His community: He loves strangers and says good morning to everyone and ensures he smiles when he says it. He’s intentional. The elderly love him, adults, teens and babies. Babies. Babies love him. He’s the baby whisperer (our goddaughter isn’t phased by that opinion depending on her mood). People look for him. When I come to church by myself sometimes while he's working, people say “where’s Sonny?” And I say “I’m good how are you?” He’s missed. And that translates to me that he has influence. He opens the door for everyone, he talks to young men who are on the wrong path, he tells people Jesus loves them and says God bless you outside of a sneeze. He’s a follower of Christ. 

His friends: with life happening, he doesn’t see them as much but when he does see them, he’s there. He’s present. He cares deeply for his friends. He loves the males like brothers and the females like sisters. He doesn’t pry yet somehow still gets the whole story. He’s a therapist too. He listens and hears them out without flinching. He’s non-judgmental. He encourages and points his friends back to Christ. He’s a teacher. 

I love my husband because he’s an active man. He’s had an active life of love, giving to people the best of him no matter the role you have in his life. Friend, family, community, he is there. He’s present. So marrying him was a no brainer. It was a head and heart decision. I had all the information I needed to tell me he would be a great husband and that took over my heart. He’s my sunshine on a cloudy day, Sonny, I love you.